Emotional

The past two days I have been so emotional.. I have cried at the drop of a Hat and have felt so alone, so over whelmed, so stressed..
I am trying to put Lauren on a routine and she does not want to cooperate. She is use to feeding to sleep and having eratic sleeping sessions that she cries a lot when I lay her down to nap. She is actually sleeping better at night though so it is paying off. I just gotta keep up with it!
I am missing Matt so much! I feel like I have nothing in common with people I know. I feel like I have to be confined to my house because I am trying to work on a routine.. and I feel alone... with three kids all on my own with no one to relate to me.
I miss having help. I wish my mom was more motherly and was able to be there for me for once in our lives. I am a big jealous of her life and her boyfriend. She came to help me out in the beggining before I had Lauren and could not even help me for one week ... she got stressed out and cried and stayed in her room didn't help cook or clean... Then goes back to her boyfriend and is always making food for him always baking cakes aNd cookies for her friends.. I just don't get it.. but she is my mom and I either except her that way or no way right?
Matt and I had an argument the other night because I was crying and telling him how hard it all ways for me and he worried about me and got defensive! Tried telling me what to do as if he was my father instead of being supportive and understanding.. He said sorry to me today and we worked it out.. I felt better knowing that he was just upset because he felt helpless to me and wishes he could be here...
After praying a lot and realizing that it is just probably my hormones going wild again... I feel so much better.
I know I am going to have off days.. here and there but I feel entitled to them! lol I have three children one of which is a new born... and I am doing it all alone.
Plus all of us have colds and bryan has a cough... I am trying to clean my house as best as I can and I feel like things are so upside down here in the house... but I am trying and slowly but surely things will work themselves out. We have about 2 months and 10 days left till daddy should be home! Hoping and praying time goes by fast... Summer vacation starts tomorrow.. Hoping to get through it like a breeze :)
Lauren gets her two month shots tomorrow and I am also getting her ears pierced! I can not wait.. :) My next mile stone to get to is the 2 month left mark, Then July 4th, Then July 27th :) Then The boys meet your teacher day at school which is August 2nd. I am excited to go school supply shopping for them lol I know that is something silly to be excited for... I just love it.
My kids are getting so big so fast. Bry is going to be a First grader, Alex a Kindergartner.. and Lauren is 2 months today!
I am blessed.